


At Least You Have Your Looks

by buttmaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 14:38:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2232693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another Bonus Round 1 fill for HSWC.</p><p>"Porrim/Rufioh</p><p>Remember when Porrim told Rufioh the truth that he was really bad in bed?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Least You Have Your Looks

Wow. He was. He was still going. Still. Thrust. Thrust. Thrust. Her bulge had all but retreated and Porrim was pretty sure that if it weren't for his own... enthusiasm, her nook would be as dry as a desert. She yawned. She considered, briefly, going into nightlight mode and grabbing a book, catching up on some reading. But he was jostling her around way too much for that and, really, it would be easier to either fake an orgasm or just tell him to stop.

Actually, this was terrible. She wouldn't even be able to fake a convincing orgasm. Though with as bad as he was doing at all this, maybe he would be fooled. No. No, Porrim thought. That would be rewarding him. This didn't deserve any form of praise. She put a hand on his chest, kind of giving a small of pressure, as if to silently say 'whoa there, cowboy.'

Rufioh Nitram had a big, dumb grin on his face, which faltered sometimes as he took little panting breaths or let out small little moans. His hair was a bit less spiky, held down by the sweat of exertion. His eyes were closed. Were being the keyword. Current status? Open. Open and confused.

"What is it, doll?"

"You need to stop."

Rufioh applied the brakes and his thrusting died off. He wasn't sure if this was a comma or a full stop, though, and stayed pretty buried inside her. "Uh, what's going on?"

"This is awful." She should have stopped him ten minutes ago. She would have sounded less harsh. She should have stopped twenty minutes ago. She would have sounded pretty sympathetic. But she was done. She was beyond done, mostly because she was nowhere near the kind of done that she wished she was.

"Awful? I'm pretty sure... it wasn't, though? I mean... I was feeling pretty bangarang, doll. You can't tell me that you..."

"Weren't. Wasn't. Not. I'm not. At all."

"What the h, then? I mean... sorry, but... I'm feeling like things are..."

"No. You would be incorrect. This is terrible. You're terrible. You're just... you're just humping! How have you not even climaxed yet, Rufioh?"

"I was extending it. You know... for your pleasure."

"Do I look pleasured? Do I sound pleasured though? I'm far from it. I hoped to be. Look at you, Rufioh! You are very attractive!"

Rufio blushed. "Aww, thanks, doll."

"No! And stop calling me doll! It wasn't a compliment. I'm saying it makes it even more disappointing. You're hot and everybody wants you but you are so bad at sex that it is actually offensive!"

Rufioh gawked.

"Can you please maybe disconnect from me? It's kind of awkward telling you all this with you actually still inside me." Especially as she could feel his bulge shrinking back in shame. He complied, sitting back on the bed, leaking that disappointing slick copper all over her nice sheets. Damn it. She expected the sheets to be ruined tonight, but she expected the sheets to be ruined in a bit more of an extravagant, amazing manner.

"Uh... I..."

"Look, look, I'm sorry. I should be giving constructive criticism. Am I your first partner? I mean, that would explain a lot!"

"Almost?"

"Almost. What does almost mean?"

"Fourth?"

"Those poor trolls." She muttered. "Look, you can't just... robotically thrust down into someone while you drip sweat all over them." Porrim needed a towel, she realized. "You're just rutting like an animal. You aren't some hoofbeast. Some... robot hoofbeast or something."

"Come on, doll, robotic?"

"And another thing! Maybe show some concern for your partner? What about my needs? No checking in to see if I'm enjoying things? No bulge action? Not even a little chuteplay? At the very least, some globe fondling? Have any of your partners enjoyed this?"

"They never said they... didn't?"

"Did they say they did?"

"Well... no..."

"You can't get by on good looks and size, Rufioh!"

That remark... it somehow made him beam with pride. He had size! Hell yes.

"You know what else has size? A pleasure grub. A hair brush. A dildo. All of which have treated me better than you have. Even Zahhak is better. Amazingly. Somehow."

"Horuss? Really? Hmm."

"Are you fantasizing about banging Horuss while I'm telling you how shitty you are at sex? Even the other way, you basically just lie there. Just... just get out. Maybe I can get Latula here before she goes to sleep."

"Are you sure?" Rufioh waggled his eyebrows. "Maybe we can try again, now that you've given me... constructive criticism?"

The answer was no. Not that she said as much, but pointing at the door couldn't really be interpreted in any other way...


End file.
